Jokes thread

Subject: Re: Jokes thread Tue Jul 08, 2008 6:54 pm

hahaha lmao....some of those things were hilarious....... i think i might have one...nope..i got nothing

Subject: Re: Jokes thread Tue Jul 08, 2008 7:17 pm

ok theres 3 guys ones walking torwds the other 2 and the other 2 are walking to him one guy
yells: why didnt you tell me he can take other freelancers equipment.
another guy yells: why didnt you tell me wyoming was on the ship.
3rd guy yells: why didnt anybody give me some thing to yell about

Guest

LITTLE JOHNNY COMES HOME FROM SCHOOL ONE DAY AND AS HE WALKS BY HIS MOM'S ROOM HE SEES HER LAYING NAKED IN THE BED, RUBBING ALL OVER HERSELF, SCREAMING "A MAN, I NEED A MAN!"

THE NEXT DAY WHEN LITTLE JOHNNY COMES HOME HE WALKS BY HIS MOM'S ROOM AND SHE'S IN THERE WITH A MAN... JOHNNY RUNS TO HIS ROOM, TAKES OFF ALL HIS CLOTHES, HE LAYS IN BED, STARTS RUBBING ALL OVER HIMSELF SCREAMING "A BIKE, I NEED A BIKE!"

Subject: Re: Jokes thread Wed Jul 09, 2008 7:25 am

megatron is so g ay he was found having s e x with starscream....IN NEW YORK CITY!

Subject: Re: Jokes thread Thu Jul 10, 2008 12:22 am

Jetblaster wrote:: megatron is so g ay he was found having s e x with starscream....IN NEW YORK CITY!

Where's the punchline

Subject: Re: Jokes thread Thu Jul 10, 2008 8:00 am

i dont like you jk

Subject: Re: Jokes thread Thu Jul 10, 2008 12:12 pm

Subject: Re: Jokes thread Thu Jul 10, 2008 9:48 pm

What am I?

This useful tool is commonly found in the range of eight inches long.

It is enjoyed by members of both genders.

It is usually found hung, dangling loosely, ready for instant action.

It has a clump of little hairy things at one end and a small hole at the other.

It is inserted, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, into a warm, fleshy, moist opening, where it is thrust in and drawn out again, accompanied by squirming bodily movements.

When finally withdrawn, it leaves behind a juicy, frothy, sticky white substance, some of which will need cleaning from the outer surfaces of the opening and some from its glistening long shaft.

After everything is done and the flowing and cleansing liquids have ceased emanating, it is returned to its freely hanging state of rest, ready for yet another bit of action, hopefully reaching its bristling climax two or three times a day, but often less.

What am I?

None other than your very own...

Spoiler:

Guest

Ed stood over his tee shot on the 450 yard 18th hole for what seemed like an eternity.
He waggled, looked up, looked down, waggled again, but didn't start his back swing.
Finally his exasperated partner asked, 'What in the world is taking so long?'
'My wife is watching me from the clubhouse balcony,' Jim explained.
'I want to make a perfect shot.'
His companion exclaimed. 'You don't have a chance in hell of hitting her from here.

Guest

A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. 'You knowwhat?' says the 6 year old. 'I think it's about time we startedcussing.' The 4 year old nods his head in approval. The 6 year old continues, 'When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'mgonna say something with hell and you say something with ass.' The 4 yearold agrees with enthusiasm. When their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wantsfor breakfast, he replies, 'Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have someCheerios.' WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up,and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slappinghis rear with every step. His mom locks him in his room and shouts, 'You canstay there until I let you out!' She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a sternvoice, 'And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?' I don't know, he blubbers, 'but you can bet your fat ass it won'tbe Cheerios!'

Guest

Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives, however they had gotten over- enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery.

One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her panties and use them. Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them. She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she decided to wipe with that.

The next day one of the woman's husband was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said: 'These girl nights have got to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst. My wife came home with no panties!!'

'That's nothing' said the other husband, 'Mine came back with a card stuck to her ass that said......
'From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you.''

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