MANY PEOPLE GO THROUGH LIFE CHANGING EXPERINCES.
REATHOR ITS DEATH IN A FAMILY, MONEY, MARRIGES,
DIVORCES, BIRTHS, ABUSE, STRESS, OR MEDICAL.
ALOT OF TIMES PEOPLE LET THINGS BUILD UP
AND DONT KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH THE ISSUES
THATS CAUSING A RIFF IN THERE LIFE. OR THEY DO
BUT DONT WONT TO FACE THEM. OR THEY DO FACE THEM
BUT DOWN THE LINE THEY FALL INTO A STATE OF OTHER ISSUES
THAT TAKE HOLD. WHICH IS CHANGE. REATHOR ITS GOOD OR NOT
EVERYBODY IN SOME WAYS OR ANOTHER MEET THAT SAME ANTTITY
IN LIFE. WHAT WE DO WITH IT IS ON US, AND ALOT OF TIMES OTHERS
WHO ARE INVOLVED IN OUR LIVES.
EVEN THE SMARTES AND BRIGHTES PEOPLE ON THIS EARTH EXPERINCE
THESE SAME ISSUES. BUT THEY STILL RE-ACCOUR.
YOU CAN HAVE ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD AND STILL HAVE ISSUES
THAT ARE MENTIONED ABOVE.
OR YOU COULD HAVE NO MONEY AND NO WERE TO LIVE AND HAVE THE SAME
ISSUES ABOVE. ITS AMAZINGLY THAT CHANGE IS SO UNBIEST TO ALL PEOPLE.
YEAH CHANGE IS WHAT MAKES LIFE CYCLES TURN AROUND KEEPS GOING WITH OUT
US REATHOR WE ARE HERE OR NOT. ITS STILL GOING TO HAPPEN REGUARDLES.
CHANGE CAN BE GOOD OR BAD. IS WHAT WE DO WITH IT. IS WHAT MAKES THE DIFFERENCE.
ALOT OF TIMES WE DONT. WE FALL EITHER DEEPER IN OUR THOUGHTS ABOUT EVERY THING
OR SOME OF US GO ON LIKE IT DIDNT EVEN EFFECT THEM. BUT IM HERE TO TELL YOU IT DOSE
EFFECT THOSE WHO IGNOR IT. REGUARDLES OF THE SITUATION.
SO HOW DO YOU WE COPE WITH CHANGE?
THATS WHAT I WOULD LIKE TO DIG INTO.
FROM MY EXPERINCE I HAVE SURCOME INTO MANY OF WAYS OF COPING WITH CHANGES THAT LAY
AHEAD OF ME. THROUGH BEER, DRUGS, IGNORING IT, BUYING SPREE, TO COMMITING SOMETHING THAT
COULD HAVE ENEDED MY OWN LIFE. I ASK MY SELF HOW OR WHY THAT WAS.
WHEN I WAS GROWING UP. I WAS NEVER A TALKITIVE PERSON, WAS SHY, AND STAYED TO MYSELF.
HAD VERY LITTLE FRIENDS. HELL I HARDLY TALKED TO MY OWN FAMILY. DEALING WITH THINGS
THAT EFFECTED ME, FRIENDS, AND FAMILY THAT I HAVE TALKED TO OR ASSOSSIATED WITH
WAS HARD. ONCE I CAME INTO THE MILITARY I STARTED TO COME OUT OF MY SHELL.
SLOWLY EACH DAY SURCOME MY SHORT FALLS. THEN BEGAN TO SOCIOLIZE WITH OTHERS.
BUT ONCE SOME CHANGES CAME INTO PLAY. IT BEGAN A STRUGLE NOT JUST TO ADJUST TO IT,
BUT ALSO TO CARRY ON LIKE IT WASNT THERE. THE FIRST ONE WAS MY MOTHER HAVING MELUNOMA
CANCER. THE SECOND WAS LOOSING ONE OF MY GRANDMOTHERS THAT SAME YEAR, THEN MY GRANDFATHER
TO LUNG CANCER. THEN EVERY THING WAS FINE EXCEPT ME. I BECAME MORE EFFATUATED WITH BEER AND WHISKEY
SPENT MORE TIME DRINKING THAN HEALING. LATER ON 2 YEARS DOWN THE ROAD. GOT A CALL WHILE I WAS DEALING WITH THE ABUSE I CAME TO KNOW MY MOTHER HAD BEEN DIGNOSED WITH BRAIN CANCER. THEN RELAPPED TO DRINKING BUT WORSE. I FOUND MY SELF DRINKING HEAVIER AND HEAVIER EACH DAY. THE HARDEST TIME WAS WHEN
MY MOTHER PASSED AWAY. I FELL INTO A DARK TIME THAT I CALL IT. I STARTED TO TAKE DRUGS COMBINED TO DRINKING. THEN GOT OUT OF WHAT I HAVE LOVED DOING. THE U.S.M.C. WHICH MY MOTHER LOVED ME DOING CAUSE
SO MANY PEOPLE DAUGHTED ME BEING SUCCESSFULL AT IT. EVERY THING AT THAT TIME DIDNT FEEL THE SAME
NOR TALKING TO PEOPLE CLOSEST TO ME DIDNT FEEL RIGHT EITHER. NO MATTER IT WAS FAMILY OR FRIENDS.
I TOOK THE TIME TO GO TO TEXAS, WERE MY FATHER LIVES AND TRIED TO PATCH UP OUR RELATIONSHIP. WHICH DIDNT
GET FAR. STILL STAYING ON THE DRINKING BENG. TO THE POINT I WAS ARRESTED FOR PLUBLIC INTOXICATION FOR 3 NIGHTS AND 4 DAYS. AT THAT POINT IN TIME DIDNT CARE WHO IT EFFECTED. TILL I GOT SUVERLY SICK. WHICH SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME. CAUSED ME TO OPEN UP TO MY UNCLE. AFTER THE TALK I HAD WITH HIM. LOOKING BACK
IM GLAD I DID SAY STUFF OFF MY CHEST. CAUSE IF I HADNT I WOULODNT HAVE THE DAUGHTER I HAVE NOW.
I TOLD HIM THEN. THAT I DIDNT GO WITH THE CHANGE THAT I WAS DESPERATLY FIGHTING AGGINSTED THAT I
WASNT GOING TO HAVE A FAMILY, NOR THE CHILD, NOR A LIFE, I WOULD BE A OLD MAN IF LUCKY BEING ALONE
AND OR BARRIED 6 FEET UNDER WITH NO FAMILY. TWO DAYS AFTER THAT MET MY FIRST WIFE, AND GOT HER PREGNENT.
9 MONTHS LATER MIRYAH ANN STRAUSS WAS BORN ON APRIL 20TH, 2000. EVERY THING WAS GOOD. I HAD A DAM GOOD JOB, AND I HAD A FAMILY. TILL MORE CHANGES CAME. BEING MARRIED BRAUGHT MORE STRESS THAN MY OWN THAT I ALL READY HAD. IT CAUSED OR I CAUSED MY SELF TO LOOSE THE JOB THAT I LOVED AT THE TIME DOING. WICH
WAS WORKING FOR TRINITY MATERALS INC AT 15 DOLLARS AN HOUR. TO BEING JOBLES AND WORKING TEMPUARY. DURING THAT TIME MY DAUGHTER TURNED 1 YRS OLD AND THE WORLD TRADE CNETURE WAS HIT BY "SUPPOSED TERRIOST ATTACK" THAT SPUN US ALL INTO A WAR THATS NOT GOING TO BE WON! MOVED BACK HOME TO WERE I WAS RASSIED. AND LOOKING FOR A JOB. WHICH FORST ME TO RE-JOIN THE MILITARY. TRIED TO RE-JOIN THE MARINES BUT THEY HAD A STOP LOSE ON PRIOR MILITARY FOR SIX MONTHS. WHICH I COULDNT DO. SO I DESIDED TO JOIN THE ARMY.
FAMILY WAS SPLIT FOR A SHORT WHILE. MY WIFE AND DAUGHTER WENT BACK TO TEXAS. AN I WENT TO AIT AT ELPASO TEXAS FOR 5 WEEKS. THEN WAS ORDERD TO FT CAMPBELL KY. FINALY RECONNECTED WITH THEM IN OCTOBER 2002. LATER ON IN DECEMBER OF THAT YEAR WAS ORDERED TO KUWIET CITY IN 2003, FEBUARY. NEVER HAD BEEN TO WAR BEFORE. NEVER HAD LEFT MY FAMILY LIKE THAT. OR THEY HAD ANYBODY TO WAR. WAS HARD. DURING THOSE TIMES
IT WAS HARD TO TALK TO THEM. PHONES WAS SCARCE. SAME WITH THE ENTURNET. LETTERS TOOK JUST A WEEK FOR ME TO SEND ONE TO THEM. BUT IT TOOK THEM A MONTH DAM NEAR TO SEND ONE TO ME. DUE TO THE VOLUME OF LETTERS AND PACKEGES THAT OTHER SOLDIERS WAS RECIEVING. WICH CAUSED MORE STRESS BESIDE THE WAR, AND BEING APPART FROM LOVED ONES. THEN MORE CHANGES TO COME. NO ANSWERS FROM THE PHONE CALLS. NOR LETTERS AND DIDNT KNOW WERE THEY WERE. BEING NEARLY BLOWEN UP FOUR TIMES BY MORTOR FIRE, HANDGURNADE, RPG, AND ROCKET. BEING ALMOST SHOT BY A SNIPER NOT ONCE BUT TWICE. SHIT WAS GETTING TO MUCH FOR ME TO HANDLE AT ONE TIME. BUT PUT IT IN THE BACK OF MY MIND AND DROVE ON.
DURING THAT TIME FRAME, FOUND OUT I HAD LOST MY OTHER GRANDMOTHER, AND GREAT AUNT. THEN THE FIRST RETURN HOME FROM WAR. GETTING OFF THE PLANE FOR THE FIRST TIME RETURNING AFTER A YEAR, TO NO FAMILY GREATING. GOING HOME TO MY HOUSE TO NO DAUGHTER TO GREAT ME AT THE DOOR. THEN RETURNING TO THE BOTTLE
FOR MANY OF NIGHTS. BEING DIVORCED A MONTH AFTER RETURNING HOME, TO NOT HAVEING MY CHILD WITH ME WHEN I WONTED HER OR SHE WONTED ME. A YEAR HAS PASSED AND ANOTHER RETURN TO THE SAND OF HELL.
WITH ANOTHER WIFE AT HOME. AND MANY OF ISSUES TO COME WITH IT. MONEY TAKEN TO ISSUES WITH MY DAUGHTER.
RETURNED TO MY WIFE AT THE TIME GREATING ME. TO HAVING MORE INCREASED CHANGES. 2005-2007 WAS THE WORST TIME TO BE IN IRAQ ANY WERE. ALMOST EVERYDAY SOMEONE WAS RETURNING HOME IN A BODY BAG. SOMETIMES TRIPLE THE AMOUNT. DECEMBER 9TH 2005, WAS RETURNING BACK TO THE FOB (FORWARD OPERATION BASE) MY GUN TRUCK WAS HIT BI A IED (IMPROVISED EXPLOSIVE DEVICE). THIS WAS MORE SIGNIFICANTLY CHANGED MY LIFE AND HOW I LOOK AT ALL OF IT. REATHOR ITS THE PAST, THE NOW, OR FUTURE! AN IS THE HARDEST TO GET OVER. AN THE MOST RE-ACCORRING EVENT THAT COMES BACK WHEN IT WONTS TO. REATHOR I WONT IT TO OR NOT.
WHICH CAUSED ALOT OF ISSUES ONCE I RETURNED HOME THE FIRST TIME, TO MY NEW WIFE. WICH LATER ON WAS BLAMMED I CAUSED MORE STRESS TO OTHERS ARROUND ME THAN THEY THEM SELFS CAUSED. ISSUES THAT WAS ALL READY THERE BEFORE I CAME IN TO THE PICTURE. BUT CAUSED A BARRIER BETWEEN ME AND MY DAUGHTER MORE AND MORE EACH DAY. THEN WAS ORDERED ANOTHER RETURNING TRIP TO THE SANDS OF HELL FOR THE THIRD AND FINAL TIME, BUT THIS TIME IT WAS TO BE FOR 15 MONTHS REATHOR THAN 12 MONTHS. DURING THAT TIME I HAD ENOUGH
OF CHANGE AND STAYED TO MY SELF ALOT AND SOMETIMES CAME ON THE NET (TF GAME AND THE TWO SITES). TILL I DAM NEAR ENDED IT ALL BY ONE ACTION. WHICH FAILED ME NOT ONCE BUT 7 TIMES. IN THE SAME NIGHT. RETURNED HOME TO NOTHING. AN NO FATHER AND DAUGHTER RECONNECTION I NEEDED. TO BEING HOMELES FOR A BRIEF FEW MINUETS OF MY RETURN. WAS FORCED TO MOVE INTO THE BARRICKS, AND WOUNDERING WHAT THE FUCK HAPPEND. TO NOT GIVING A DAM TO TRAVELING AWAY FROM FAMILY DUE TO A EMBARRESTMENT I HAVE EXPERINCED FOR THE LAST 6 YRS. ENRAGGED, PISSED, HURT, AND DEPRESSED AND NO WAY TO RELEIVE IT. WAS ORDERED TO VA. AT FORT STORY. TO A SHIT HOLE OF A PLACE. MET AND CAME TO KNOW SOME REAL GOOD FRIENDS ALONG THE WAY.
PEOPLE HERE AT THIS SITE, AND MINE TO PEOPLE WHO WERE ARROUND ME THAT I DIDNT KNOW THEY EVEN CARRED.
THEY TOOK ME IN WHEN NO ONE ELSE WOULD, HELPED ME COME TO THE LIGHT OF THINGS. TO TRYING TO RECOVER FROM ANOTHER SHORT FALL. THEN MET ANGEL. WE BEEN TOGETHOR NOW FOR A 1YR AND A HALF. PLANNING ON GETTING MARRIED. SENCE ALL OF THIS. I CAME TO A CONCLUSSION OF THE HEART OF MY ISSUES. THE THING IS THAT I FOUND. IS THAT I BOTTLE IT UP, AND EXCAPE THE REALITY OF WHATS GOING ON. TRYING TO DENY ITS CHANGING EXSISTANCE REATHOR I WONTED TO BE OR NOT. I DIDNT CARE ABOUT MYSELF, OR OTHERS. I DIDNT CARE REATHOR I HAD A POSSITIVE DIMEANOR OR NOT. I JUST DIDNT GIVE A FUCK. BUT IF I HAD CARED AND HAD BEEN OPEN ABOUT THE CHANGE, AND WENT WITH IT. REATHOR OR NOT IT WAS FOR THE GOOD OR NOT. WOULD THERE HAVE BEEN A DIFFERENCE? PROUBLY NOT, BUT I WOULDNT HAVE LOOKED CRAZZY DOING IT! AND OTHERS WOULD HAVE PROBLY BEEN MORE HELPFULL AT THE SAMETIME. BUT THATS THE PAST.
NOW THE PRESENT: I NEVER TRY TO BRING SHIT HOME THAT HAPPEND AT WORK, OR OTHER PLACES. I TRY TO REMAIN CALM WHEN OUT IN PLUBLIC, I TRY NOT TO PUT MY SELF IN A PERDICTAMENT THAT I CAN NOT GET OUT OF. SUCH AS ARGUMENTS WITH THE LOCALS, MEANING OUTSIDERS WHO DONT KNOW WHO THE FUCK I AM BUT HAVE THE GOD DAM NEED TO PUT THERE GOD DAM 2 CENTS IN ON EVERY THING THAT HADNT BEEN ABOUT THEM AT ALL. SO BASICUALY I DONT HOLD SHIT IN NO MORE. I DONT WERE IT ON MY SLEAVE. I FOUND THIS WORKS. AND LETS ME ENJOY MORE POSSITVE SHIT IN LIFE INSTEAD OF NEGITIVE SHIT THATS BOTTLED UP AND STINCKING FROM THE YRS OF BEING BOTTLED UP. I HAVE FOUND OUT BY BEING BOTTLED UP ALL WHO ARE ARROUND YOU KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT YOU AND WHAT EFFECTS YOU. WHAT MAKES YOU TICK. WITH OUT THAT THEY KNOW NOTHING. WICH CAUSES UN WONTED CHANGES. THATS OUT OF YOUR CONTROLL. SO THAT A NEW WORD FOR YOU TO USE. I CONTROL MYSELF I DONT LET NOTHING CONTROL ME, OR LET IT CONTROL THE WAY I THINK. I AM IN CONTROL OF MY OWN DESTINY NO-ONE AND NO ADICTIONS MAKE MY DESSIONS FOR ME. THIS IS MY TRAVELS SUMED UP IN THIS TOPIC OF CHANGE!
DONT FOLLOW A PATH OF DARKNESS IT COMES IN DIFFERENT SIZES AND SHAPES. ITS VISSABLE TO OTHERS BUT NOT YOU. AND DONT REALIZE TILL THE AFTER EFFECT IT HAD ON YOU AND OTHERS ARROUND YOU. BY THEN FOR SOME ITS TO LATE AND THERE 6 FT UNDER. AND THEY DIDNT GIVE THEM SELFS A FIGHTING CHANCE TO CHANGE THERE DESTINY.
WRITEN BY: IRON MIKE 1775 AKA STING REAL NAME: SGT/P STRAUSS, ERIC D. UNITED STATES ARMY
QUOTE: SIMPER FIDELIS AND NES DESIT VERTUS PARA SEIMPRA PARA VIDO. WHICH MEANS, ALWAYS LOYAL OR FAITHFULL AND LET VALOR NOT FAIL FOR EVER FOR LIFE!
Subject: HOW THINGS CHANGE THAT ISNT ANY MORE 
Sat Dec 18, 2010 1:30 pm
